Completely His

Being in Want

2010-09-18T11:35:00.006-04:30

Something about the season of fall overwhelms my heart with excitement as the new season begins showing bits of itself around my small town of Fort Worth. Okay, so Ft. Worth isn't all that small, but it does a pretty great job of presenting itself in such a way that it makes you feel like it is. I remember this time last year sitting in my living room blogging about fall. I love the way it makes me feel. Everything is so crisp and fresh. I love fall...for more reasons other than just Pumpkin Spice lattes are back at Starbucks.

I have been reading through the gospels lately to look at who Jesus is and how He lived on this earth when He walked among men. I came across Luke 15 yesterday, verse 14 when Jesus is describing the joy of finding one that was once lost and is now found in the parable of the "Lost Son" to the Pharisees and scribes. The words, "and he began to be in want," stopped me. Have you ever been reading God's Word and all of the sudden a word or phrase catches your attention and you have to stop and kind of chew on what He is saying? I was listening to a sermon the other morning as I was getting ready for work and the guy speaking talked about how cows digest their food. Cows have four stomachs..did you know that?? Cows will chew grass, swallow it, regurgitate it, chew it a little more, swallow, regurgitate and so on until they have done this four times! Cows really chew on something until it is fully digested. I'm a very visual learner, so I am constantly thinking of how to describe something in painting a picture. I felt like this painted the picture perfectly for us as to how we are to chew on God's Word and really take it all in.

What does being in want really mean? And why does David say in Psalm 23:1, "The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want?".

The parable of the lost son begins when the younger of a man's two sons comes to him and asks him for his inheritance. Only a few days later the son gets together all of his belongings and sets out on his own path. The scriptures say he wasted his substance with riotous (lack of self-restraint) living and spent all that he had. When his money ran out, there was a great famine and the son began to be in want. For days he worked on a field feeding and eating with the swine. "And when he had come to himself, he said, 'How many hired servants of my father's have bread enough to spare, and I perish with hunger!'"

How many times do we often take the bread that the Father has given to us and think we can walk down a path without him and survive? In the Old Testament, God provides manna for the Israelites on a daily basis. Every morning they would go out unto the fields and collect the bread that God had provided for them for that day alone. If they tried to take in more bread to store up for the next day, it would go bad and they would be hungry the next day. God gives us only what we need for today. He tells us not to worry about tomorrow. He is focused only on today. This causes us to recognize our dependance on Him. Read Proverbs 30:8-9. “Remove far from me vanity and lies: give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with the food convenient for me: Lest I be full, and deny thee, and say, Who is the Lord? or lest I be poor, and steal, and take the name of my God in vain.” Proverbs 30:8-9 Some versions read, feed me with your daily bread.

Look at the rest of Psalm 23. “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want. He maketh me lie down in green pastures: He leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” Psalm 23:1-4 David says he shall not want, because he chose to walk with the Father.

When we choose to walk with the Father, He leads us in the paths that He had planned for us. Paths of righteousness. When we walk through dark places, we hold confident that He is still with us.

To bring all of this to an end, I want to share with you the other brother's response when his brother came home and he saw his father rejoicing and celebrating the son's return. The son said to him, "'These many years do I serve thee, neither transgressed I any time thy commandment: and thou never gavest me a kid, that might make me merry with my friends.' His father responds, "Son, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine."

Let this be a reminder to all of us, that even though there will be times that you feel even when you are walking with the Father and doing His will, you may not feel as though there is a celebration going on everyday of your life. There is always work to do and trials that will come even when you choose to walk in the path of righteousness. But when you are walking with the Father, He gives to you all that He has. It is more then enough.

Sit Still and Do His Works

2010-06-17T12:56:00.001-04:30

Good Morning!

The Lord has recently led me to the book of Ruth, which in turn took me to several other books of the bible studying some of the questions He has laid upon my heart. I am so excited and filled with joy to have the opportunity to share these words with you. I pray they will bless you and that you will search out the scriptures as well, asking God to reveal to you even more knowledge and insight of who He is. I encourage you to leave things on here that He has taught you as they will encourage His children. I love to see how God works...”that their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, and attaining to all riches of the full assurance of understanding, to the knowledge of the mystery of God, both of the Father and of Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.” Colossians 2:2-3

After reading and re-reading the book of Ruth over the years, I always felt as though the whole book was simply about a virtuous woman and what she looked like. After going through the scriptures, I’ve realized there is so much more that the Lord is showing us in this book. And it is breathtaking...

Has God ever sent you on a journey and along the way He teaches you small things that fill you with so much joy, but you continue on because you just know that He is going to use those small things to show you the big picture? It’s as if He’s laying the foundation. That is the feeling I have had for the last few days. He showed me one verse that would correspond with another somewhere else in the Word and then another. What kept me searching was the feeling of knowing that there was more He was wanting to pour out. I love how God’s Word is perfect. It is without fault. And when He gives you the grace to desire His Word...He will show you so much of Him.

I’m not sure where to start so let’s just dig in...

Ruth had lost her husband. She also lost her brother-in-law and her father-in-law. She was left with only her sister-in-law, Orpah, and her mother-in-law, Naomi. Now Ruth was from Moab. Her husband’s family had come to Moab from Bethlehem during the time when the judges ruled and many people were living in idolatry and serving other gods. “In those days there was no king in Israel; everyone did what was right in his own eyes.” Judges 21:25. His family had come to Moab because of the famine that was in Bethlehem. (Notice they left God’s people during a time of drought; testifying their lack of faith in the Lord and then they died).

Now Naomi decided to head back to her homeland in Bethlehem because she had heard that the Lord had visited His people by giving them bread (1:6). On the way, Naomi tries to convince Orpah and Ruth that it would be better for them to stay in Moab and find for themselves rest in the house of a husband. Orpah and Ruth’s desire is to follow Naomi, but Naomi questions how she would ever be able to provide them with husbands again in her old age. Take a moment to think about a time that you felt God calling you somewhere in faith, but in your head it didn’t make any sense...

Orpah makes the decision to return back to her homeland in Moab, but Ruth clings to Naomi and makes a very bold statement in saying, “Entreat me not to leave you, or to turn back from following after you; for wherever you go, I will go; and wherever you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God, my God. Where you die, I will die, and there will I be buried. The Lord do so to me, and more also, if anything but death parts you and me” (1:16-17). Her love and devotion for Naomi is astounding...

In verse 20, Naomi tells her people not to call her Naomi anymore, but Mara, meaning, “bitter,” for the Lord had had dealt very bitterly with her. Didn’t God save her from the pit of death?

“..Now they came to Bethlehem at the beginning of barley harvest” (1:22). This verse is actually what caused me to search out the scriptures. It is almost as if the Lord had highlighted this verse. Why did He choose to add in this verse about when they returned to Bethlehem? What significance does it hold in the Word? Although barley and wheat were both planted in the autumn, barley matured faster and would be harvested sooner. The firstfruits of grain offered during the Festival of Unleavened Bread would have been barley. "In the early stages of the Israelite settlement the most important cereal was barley...because of the necessity to settle fringe areas and barley's tolerance of harsh conditions" (Oded Borowski, Agriculture in Iron Age Israel, 1987. Keep this scripture in mind...

Upon entering Bethlehem, Ruth tells Naomi she desires to go to the fields and glean heads of grain after him in whose sight I may find favor. And she said to her, “Go my daughter” (2:2). Boaz is not working the field, but says to the reapers, “The Lord be with you!” and they answer back to him, “The Lord bless you!” This shows Boaz’s care and love for his servants and their respect for their master. Boaz takes notice of Ruth in vs. 5 and tells Ruth, “You will listen, my daughter, will you not? Do not glean in another field, nor go from here, but stay close to my young women. Let your eyes be on the field which they reap, and go after them. Have I not commanded the young men not to touch you? And when you are thirsty, go to the vessels and drink from what the young men have drawn.” So she fell on her face, bowed down to the ground, and said to him, “Why have I found favor in your eyes, that you should take notice of me, since I am a foreigner?” (Being Gentiles should we not also be asking God the same question?) Boaz responds...”It has been fully reported to me, all that you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband, and how you left your father and mother and the land of your birth, and have come to a people whom you did not know before.” Ruth did not let the death of her husband cause her to stop working. By the grace of God, she endured, and pressed on for God’s greater calling. She was doing His good works. “The harvest truly is plentiful, but the laborers are few. Therefore pray the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest” (Matthew 9:37-38).

Is this not the complete picture of God’s will for us? To be a servant of Christ and work His fields? To stay close to Him and not wander into any other field? Does He not desire for us to eat from His table and drink of His living water that is freely provided for us? Has he not called us to leave our father and mother to be the bride?

Ruth returns to Naomi in the evening to share with her mother-in-law all that Boaz has done for her. Naomi reminds her again to stay close by the young women of Boaz and not to let anyone meet her in another field, and to glean until the end of the barley and wheat harvest. Ruth is obedient in her calling and does not rest until the end of the harvest. For in the same way that the Lord worked for six days and rested on the seventh, so shall we also enter into that rest when we have ceased from our works here on this earth. “There remains therefore a rest for the people of God. For he who has entered His rest has himself also ceased from his works as God did from His” (Hebrews 4:9-10). “And to whom did He swear that they would not enter His rest, but to those who did not obey? So we see that they could not enter in because of unbelief. Therefore, since a promise remains of entering His rest, let us fear lest any of you seem to come short of it” (Hebrews 3:18-4:1).

Naomi discusses with her daughter-in-law Ruth’s need for a husband. “Now Boaz, whose young women you were with, is he not our relative? In fact, he is winnowing barley tonight at the threshing floor; but do not make yourself known to the man until he has finished eating and drinking. Then it shall be, when he lies down, that you shall notice the place where he lies; and you shall go in, uncover his feet, and lie down; and he will tell you what you should do. And she said to her, “All that you say to me I will do” (3:2-5). **Barley has two parts, the seed and the chaff. Boaz would use the seed for food and the chaff would be scattered in the wind. “His winnowing fan is in His hand, and He will thoroughly clean out His threshing floor, and gather His wheat into the barn; but He will burn up the chaff with unquenchable fire” (Matthew 3:12).

Now Boaz stirs in his sleep and finds Ruth lying at his feet. “Who are you? So she answered, ‘I am Ruth, your maidservant. Take your maidservant under your wing, for you are a close relative.’ Then he said, ‘Blessed are you of the Lord, my daughter! For you have shown more kindness at the end than at the beginning, in that you did not go after young men, whether poor or rich. And now, my daughter, do not fear. I will do for you all that you request, for all the people of my town know that you are a virtuous woman.

When Boaz says to Ruth that she had shown more kindness at the end than an the beginning, I questioned what he meant. What time frame was he looking at? He was talking about the time of the harvest. Remember what Boaz told Ruth in vs. 11? ”It has been fully reported to me, all that you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband, and how you left your father and mother and the land of your birth, and have come to a people whom you did not know before.” He continues by saying, The Lord repay your work, and a full reward by given you by the Lord God of Israel, under whose wings you have come for refuge.” She had shown more kindness because of her obedience. As believers, we have been faithful to answer when He called, but have we been obedient in doing His calling? “Therefore my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 15:58).

Boaz tells Ruth that he will perform the duty of a close relative, marrying her, if the relative that is closer shall choose not to redeem Ruth’s dead husband’s land. “..it shall be that if he will perform the duty of a close relative for you-good; let him do it. But if he does not want to perform the duty for you, then I will perform the duty for you, as the Lord lives!” (3:13). We see the excitement in Boaz to honor the Lord with this marriage. Yet, Boaz’s desire to marry Ruth does not keep him from being willing to surrender her to the relative that is closer to him, honoring God and the laws that were set during that time.

I believe in God’s permissive will and His perfect will. I believe God sets opportunities before us to choose our desire or the choice to be obedient. In this case, Boaz chose to surrender his desire to the Lord and be obedient. In his choice to be obedient, God blessed Boaz and gives him the desire of his heart; Ruth. “Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:3-4).

Boaz gives Ruth six ephahs of barley (somewhere between 180-250lbs!) before she leaves to return home to Naomi. I believe Boaz choose to give Ruth this gift as a promise that he would fulfill his vow to her.

Ruth returns home and shares with Naomi all that Boaz had done for her. I love Naomi’s response to Ruth, “Sit still, my daughter, until you know how the matter will turn out; for the man will not rest until he has concluded the matter this day” (3:18). How I wish someone would have shared these words with me. “Sit still.” How often do we see God moving and act upon how we think it might turn out? Do you know the mind of God? Certainly not! “For who has known the mind of the Lord that he may instruct Him? But we have the mind of Christ” (1 Corinthians 2:16). Walk in faith, but do not walk until God has made your steps firm, lest you fall.

“Now Boaz went up to the gate and sat down there; and behold, the close relative of whom Boaz had spoken came by. So Boaz said, ‘Come aside, friend, sit down her.’ So he came aside and sat down. And he took ten men of the elders of the city, and said, ‘sit down here,’ and they sat down” (4:1-2). Boaz explains the matter to the relative and shares with him that if he chooses not to redeem the land, and take Ruth as his wife, that he will redeem it. So the relative tells Boaz to buy it, for he could not redeem it. “You are witnesses this day that I have bought all that was Elimelech’s and all that was Chilion’s and Mahlon’s, from the hand of Naomi. ‘Moreover, Ruth the Moabitess, the widow of Mahlon, I have acquired as my wife..”(4:9-10).

Boaz and Ruth are married and the Lord gave them a son, Obed. Obed is the father of Jesse and the grandfather of David; giving Ruth and Naomi a place in the lineage of Christ.

The book of Ruth is a perfect illustration of how God grafted us in. “For is the firstfruit is holy, the lump is also holy; and if the root is holy, so are the branches. And if some of the branches were broken off, and you being a wild olive tree, were grafted in among them, and with them became a partaker of the root and fatness of the olive tree, do not boast against the branches. But if you boast, remember that you do not support the root, but the root supports you. You will say then, ‘Branches were broken off that I might be grafted in.’ Well said. Because of unbelief they were broken off, and you stand by faith. Do not be haughty, but fear. For if God did not spare the natural branches, He may not spare you either. Therefore consider the goodness and severity of God; on those who fell, severity; but toward you, goodness, if you continue in His goodness. Otherwise you also will be cutoff” (Romans 11:16-22).

Ruth was from Moab, a land of foreigners, and walked in faith to Bethlehem, the land of God’s people. She continued in His goodness and did His works, reaping the harvest. She was made into a bride because of her obedience, just as we also are called to be the bride of Christ. God rewarded Ruth for her work in that He grafted her in with His Son at the time of The Harvest.

“Then I looked, and behold, a white cloud, and on the cloud sat One like the Son of Man, having His head on a golden crown, and in His hand, a sharp sickle. And another angel came out of the temple, crying with a loud voice to Him who sat on the cloud, “Thrust in Your sickle and reap, for the time has come for You to reap, for the harvest of the earth is ripe.” So He who sat on the cloud thrust in His sickle on the earth and the earth was reaped.” Revelation 14:14-16

“We give thanks to God always for you all, making mention of you in our prayers, remembering without ceasing your work of faith, labor of love and patience of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ in the sight of our God and Father, knowing, beloved brethren, your election by God.” 1 Thessalonians 1:2-6

Sit still and do His works today.

Thankful

2010-03-28T10:14:00.002-04:30

I just wanted to tell you all that I love you. I love that we serve an amazing God each and everyday. I am thankful that He is so faithful to complete in us what He has started. That He is constant through and through. That we have Hope in a Sovereign God. We serve a King who laid down His life for us, that through His blood, we are seen as pure and beautiful brides.

Everyday is a struggle for me between what I know is right and what I desire most for myself. When I sit and choose to be still, I meditate on the wonders of how great our God is and how I desire to be more like His Son, Jesus. Why is it so hard sometimes? Remember the woman I told you about a very long time ago? You probably don't...but she's described in this blog somewhere. She's radiant and beautiful. She's out in nature spinning with her arms open wide as she dances before the Lord. She's wearing a white dress and the word I think of when I see her is servant. It's the woman I long to be. There are days in which nothing seems to hinder me from chasing after the Lord with arms stretched open wide longing to be embraced by Him, not letting anything slow me down. And then there are other days, that I just feel like it takes too much to come before His throne. How drastically different are the two.

It is sin that slows me down. It is my own sin that I choose to let me slow me down. When I mess up and mess up and mess up again, and then realize at the end of the day that I have not once slowed down enough to admire my King, I feel shame. How could I go the entire day without praising Him? How can He still love me?

God's love for us is endless. He has separated our sin from us as far as the east is from the west. When He looks at us....He sees His beautiful creation. He does not see the sin that should cover us. He sees His Son's blood that covers us.

This morning as I am getting ready for church, I have just been thinking about this past season. I was watching Matt Chandler's blog about his treatment and listening as he begins reading through the scriptures. How I miss the past season the Lord has brought me through. When you're in a place of complete surrender and feel so much pain because of something you have been stripped of, it hurts...but the only way to get through that season is to trust in God. And when you do...when you really let yourself believe that He really is who He says He is and He is the author and perfecter of your faith...IT IS GOOD.

Last April I had a choice to make. I could choose to allow myself to bathe in the misery of my disappointment. Or I could allow God to do what He wanted to do through me. It was a choice I had to make..and thankfully, by His graces and mercies, I choose Him.

He is able to heal the brokenhearted and redeem those that have been lost. He is able to restore in you a new heart and renew your old mind. When your only choice is to cling to God, hold fast. What I had during that season is precious. It is a time with my Father I am so thankful for. There were several nights that I went to bed lonely, longing to be held...and He did. He provided for my every need. He blessed me with a testimony that brought Him glory. He gave me a story to tell. I am thankful for the opportunity to have endured that season with my Father. I learned about Him, myself and loving all of you.

As we come to April 4th, Easter Sunday and the one year anniversary for me that I began that season, let us remember that on Easter Sunday, Christ ROSE from the grave. He endured suffering with JOY because it pleased the Father to watch Him hang on the cross for our sins. But He also rose again. And in Romans chapter 8, we are called heirs of Christ. "Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, IF indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory."

He is worthy today of all of the praise.

The Race

2010-02-27T11:02:00.002-04:30

Have I told you lately that I love Ft. Worth?? As I was pulling out of the parking garage at my apartments this morning, I was motioned to stop by one of the local police officers for the city of Ft. Worth. I had forgotten today is the Cowtown Marathon! I went back into the garage, parked my car and decided to take the very short walk to Panera to enjoy a warm breakfast, a good read and maybe even a blog. It has been a while since I have written you...but the crisp air and the excitement of this city in February left me with a desire to write.

As I walked down the street, I learned that the stretch of road that runs alongside my building was the 13th mile. Most of the men running had been at it for nearly half the trip and they were in good shape. One of the men from the sidewalk yelled, "Best Cowtown weather in years!" Most of the men were running alone. I could tell by their form these men must have been the forerunners for the race. I could tell they must have been tired, but their faces looked so determined. Not one of them turned away from what was in front of them.

It's 9:48 now and the race has been going on for quite a while now. Several of the 13 mile runners that are passing by the window now look tired and their form is not as good as the men I noticed earlier this morning. They're running in groups and are struggling to keep up with the ones in front of them. They're wearing heavier clothing that seems to weigh them down. They're looking at their watches to see the time..and looking to others along the path to help push them along.

This portrayal got me thinking about the race we run with Christ. "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." 2 Timothy 4:7 "Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:1-2.

Have we conditioned ourselves for the race that lies before us? Are we practicing daily and filling our lives with substance that will sustain us in the last days? What are we looking to to help us finish the race that has been set before us? Are the things of this world weighing us down? Have we chosen comfort over freedom in Christ? Are we looking at the time we felt we have wasted? Or the time we have left?

Strive to press on and look the the author and finisher of our faith, who for the JOY that was set before Him endured the cross...for you. For your salvation.

Praise be to the Lord God our Father who has run the race keeping His eyes on the Father.

THIS is what is about...

2009-12-15T19:49:00.003-04:30

I could not leave my house this evening without sharing with you how GREAT and MAGNIFICENT and AWESOME and POWERFUL and MIGHTY and just AMAZING the God we serve is. If you don't KNOW Him, may God use these words to bring you to Him so that you may be fulfilled and satisfied by the ONE who has given everything.

All I desire in this world is to serve God and to love Him with all of my being. Often times my flesh hinders me and I press in through prayer that He might lead me closer to Him and give me a heart that is willing to praise Him more.

I've tried to explain praising God in the midst of suffering with people, and although it sounds like a nice idea, I feel as though many peoples' response sadly enough is, "ya, but I just can't do that...," or "ya, I know but...this is just something you can't pray for.." Who do you believe God is? Read His word.

Please know that my writing comes from the deepest places of my heart, from a broken and healed heart, from a place of humility, from a place of simple awe in who God is to me.

He answers prayers. He answers prayers. He says in scripture, His ears are attentive to us.

My bible study group has been going over Hebrews since late June. Last Wednesday we just finished going over Hebrews 11. The whole chapter is on men and woman of faith. The author of Hebrews goes on to name several men and woman that God chose to use for His own glory, for His purpose.

Let me back up some...2 weeks ago when we were closing up our bible study with prayer, I asked the group to pray for Matt Chandler and his family. We prayed that God would use his life to bring Glory to Himself. Think about it..how many of you know who Matt Chandler is? God has used him not only in the DFW area, or Texas or the nation...but the world. Nations are hearing his sermons and chasing after God with fiery hearts! God is working in Matt and through him for HIS glory. What other way than to bring a man to the lowest place of surrender and show himself through this man's life!? It teaches us to have faith. We don't know what the end holds for Matt. This may be his last days and this may be the beginning of an even stronger testimony that God will use through Matt to bring others closer to Him. I encourage you to read through Hebrews 11 and meditate on the stories that God chose to use with His servants. These lives required faith to move mountains and it was given freely to them. Look at the types of people God used.

When you are finished reading google Matt Chandler's video that was recorded several hours before his surgery. Do you have the same faith? Pray for this faith. Satan is the only one telling you you should be ashamed if you don't have the same faith. It is GOD who calls you into His throne room pushing you on closer to Him and asks that you PRAY FOR A DEEPER FAITH. Know that what you are asking for will require God to put you in situations that will test your faith, but by HIS grace He will help you surrender all that you are holding onto.

This faith is what brings you into an intimate relationship with the King of all Kings! Praise HIM!!

Made Humble

2009-10-25T09:05:00.006-04:30

"A fool despises his father's instruction, but he who receives correction is prudent." Proverbs 15:5.

Naturally, I needed to find out what prudent means...

pru·dent

adj.

1. Wise in handling practical matters; exercising good judgment or common sense.

2. Careful in regard to one's own interests; provident.

3. Careful about one's conduct; circumspect.

Yesterday a lot of things came to a head for me. I had been struggling with something that I knew was wrong, but sometimes I feel as though my flesh just strives to win and I lose that battle within myself. The Lord knows our hearts and our thoughts...there is no where we can go to hide from Him.

"O God, You know my foolishness; and my sins are not hidden from You." Psalm 69:5

"For there is nothing covered that will not be revealed, and hidden that will not be known." Matthew 10:26

Psalm 139 "O Lord, You have searched me and known me, You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off. You comprehend my path and my lying down, and are acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word on my tongue, But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether." vs. 7 "Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend into heaven, You are there; if I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there Your hand shall lead me, and Your right hand shall hold me."

I knew the Lord saw what I was doing. It's in the scriptures. But I still struggled with changing my actions. It's like a small child...When I was younger, I used to love hiding from my mom in the clothes racks at Dillard's and making her search for me. Occasionally, she'd call out my name and search for me, but after time as I got older (and somewhat wiser) she would just walk away and continue looking for whatever it was she came for. My fear came when she stopped looking for me. I knew what I was doing was not making her parenting easier, but hiding from her became a thrill. Eventually, I would come out from hiding knowing the rebuke was coming. But what I learned was that even though I knew I would have to endure the discipline, I desired her love and comfort far more than being left behind.

As I laid in bed last night, I praised God for His lovingkindness and unfailing mercies. I thanked Him for His discipline. I need it. Every time that He rebukes me for my sin, it strengthens my faith that He is who He says He is. He is omnipresent. He knows our going out and coming in. There is nothing we can hide from Him.

"I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well. Mt frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; When I awake, I am still with You." Psalm 139:14-18.

What do you have that you're trying to hide from Him?

This is my prayer for you today...

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

"For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God." Romans 3:23

"My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; for whom the Lord loves He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives." Proverbs 3:11-12

"Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." Hebrews 12:11

Praise our Father in Heaven who counsels us and leads us into the way of righteousness and does not leave us in a place of question. His name be exalted in the heavens today and forevermore.

May your eyes be opened

The Beauty of My Scars

2009-09-13T14:35:00.002-04:30

Im sitting on my couch with my favorite song playing...Tenth Avenue North's Beloved. The rain is coming down outside, as it has all weekend and my dog and I are cuddled up on my big comfy couch while the Cowboys play Tampa Bay 20-7. I love fall...It's my favorite season. The weather starts cooling off, football season is in full swing, boots and sweaters get pulled out of the closet and more importantly, Starbucks brings back their Pumpkin Spice Latte. Most of all, I love how crisp everything seems. The leaves underfoot and the air that surrounds you as you step foot out into yet another glorious day!

Have you ever just sat and reflected on where you are? Spiritually? Emotionally? Hopefully you don't frequently have to reflect on where you are physically..but some people do I suppose. I find myself enjoying these moments more and more over the past several days. Friday night I came home during the heart of the storm, turned off all the lights and the AC so I couldn't hear anything but the sound of the rain as it poured into the pool below my apartment. I just laid on my couch in silence and talked with the Lord. Not really about anything dire, but just to reflect on where He's taken me and where He's leading me next. I'm thankful that I have these times to just be still and spend time with Him. Because of this season, He's given me the opportunity to learn just how to enjoy being alone with Him and be satisfied. I can't say it's always been that way, or that my heart is always turned towards Him, because it's not. I often find my heart searching for other things to fill me. My flesh longs to be held by someone other than my God and my eyes search a crowded room because I want that attention that I think may fill me. That is reality. My prayer is this...that in those moments, God might whisper and gently remind me that He is ALL I need. I don't feel ashamed because God created us for relationships, but ultimately for a relationship with Him. Each time I fall in my walk with Him, I may scrape my knee or bruise an elbow, but because God is my Healer, there remains a scar.

I read a blog today about this young woman with a disability that, as a kid, kept her from doing things the other kids had the ability to do. Like doing a backflip off the swing, or riding a bike, even running. She tells her story of how she finally got her first bruise. It wasn't caused by an IV needle, or any medical causes. A real battle wound. The picture she took of her scraped elbow covered in dirt documented one of her proudest moments. This may seem odd to you and I, but to her, its testimony that she suffered and endured. What if you and I responded in this way during our times of trials? I know that in the moment, when God allows us to walk through the fire, we get angry, or upset and ask God why us?? When you reflect, do you ever find yourself praising God for allowing you to go through it? It may seem unfamiliar, or you may understand completely what I'm talking about. But I often find myself thanking Him for letting me take the harder road that allows for bumps and bruises so that in the end I can look back and give Him thanks for strengthening me in areas I didn't even know needed growth.

On May 27th, 2001 I was involved in a motor vehicle accident in which I was ejected from the back window of the car onto the median on 1-35 W going about 70 mph. I woke up just prior to care flight arriving to take me over to Harris Methodist. The paramedics told me had I been wearing my seatbelt, it would have killed me. The roof of the car came down to a point in the place I had been sitting shortly before. The took me over to the ER at Harris and examined me and put me through various tests to check for any internal bleeding. Nothing. No concussion, no internal bleeding, not even any bruises. There was however several tiny cuts all over my body from going through the glass. After ten hours of stitching me back together again, I was sent home to rest.

The most visible scars are on my left wrist and hand. I used to always think about what we would do when I got married and they took the picture of the two hands laid on top of one another with the rings and the bridal bouquet. I was concerned people might only notice the scars....Yesterday, I was driving and for the first time in a long time, looked at those scars. I asked the Lord, what were you doing on that day? How did you use it to bring you glory? Did you allow it to happen just so that I would recognize that You want me here for a purpose? And what is that purpose? Am I walking in Your will? Is this life what You had planned for me?

Those scars are beautiful to me now. I'm no longer ashamed or embarrassed of them because I know they're my own.

We all have scars from our pasts. Just keep in mind every time you notice one of your scars that You were being healed. There was a growth that had to happen for that scar to be there. The pain has been taken away...

I'm not promising if you keep your eyes on the Lord you'll never be hurt again, because we live in a fallen world filled with pain and suffering. The Good News is Jesus Christ came to be Your Healer. You have been washed by the water and covered by His blood. Jesus Christ has two scars on His wrists and His feet as testimony that He suffered so that you may have life.

I guarantee He remembers you each time He looks at His scars.

God's Character

2009-07-22T11:15:00.004-04:30

I’ve spoken before that I believe asking God why only causes me to become embittered and fall deeper into self pity. I enjoy the times that God reveals His character to me through the scriptures or even just in other people. I began reading Chapter 18 in Genesis when God tells Abraham that his wife, Sarah, shall have a son.

God Speaks

Gen. 18:10, “And He said, ‘I will certainly return to you according to the time of life, and behold, Sarah your wife shall have a son.’”

We Respond with our Words

What is our typical response when we hear the Lord’s voice? Do we follow in obedience, do we question God? Have we even positioned ourselves in such a way to hear from Him?

Sarah

In verse 12 we see Sarah’s response...”Therefore Sarah laughed within herself, saying ‘After I have grown old, shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?’” The Lord responds...”Why did Sarah laugh, saying, ‘Shall I surely bear a child, since I am old?” ‘Is anything to difficult for the Lord?’

Can you imagine God asking you this question? Do you believe there is anything I cannot do? Wow, in fear, Sarah responds, “I did not laugh,” for she was afraid. And He said, “No, but you did laugh!”

Abraham

22:1-2, “Now it came to pass after these things that God tested Abraham and said to him, ‘Abraham!’ And he said, ‘Here I am.’” (Abraham positions himself in such a way that he is ready to hear from God).

God Gives

Following the story we see God go to Sarah...21:1-3 “And the Lord visited Sarah as He had said, and the Lord did for Sarah as He had spoken. For Sarah conceived and bore Abraham a son in his old age, at the set time of which God had spoken to him. And Abraham called the name of his son that was born to him-whom Sarah bore to him- Isaac.”

I love God’s sense of humor here...Isaac means “one who laughs.” It’s as if God is reminding Sarah of her response to His voice.

God Asks of Us

22:2, “Then He said, ‘Take now your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love, and go to the land of Moriah, (Mountainous area in Jerusalem), and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains of which I shall tell you.’”

Do you see the direct correlation with John 3:16? “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”

We Respond In our Actions

22:4-5, “Then on the third day Abraham lifted his eyes and saw the place afar off. And Abraham said to his young men, ‘Stay here with the donkey; the lad and I will go yonder and worship, and we will come back to you.’”

This scripture could be debated as to wether Abraham already knew that God would save Isaac from being sacrificed and that’s why he chose to be obedient. But wether God allows us to know His will for our lives or not, it is still the simple act of following through with what God has asked of us that tests our faith in Him.

22:7-8, “But Isaac spoke to Abraham his father and said, ‘My Father!’ And he said, ‘Here I am, my son.’ Then he said, ‘Look, the fire and the wood, but where is the lamb for a burnt offering?’ And Abraham said, ‘My son, God will provide for Himself the lamb for a burnt offering,’ So the two of them went together.”

John 1:29, “The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him, and said, ‘Behold! The Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!’”

Revelation 12:10-1, “Then I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, “Now salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of His Christ have come, for the accuser of our brethren, who accused them before our God day and night, has been cast down. And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives to death.”

22:10-12, “And Abraham stretched out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. But the Angel of the Lord called to him from heaven and said, ‘Abraham, Abraham!’ So he said, ‘Here I am.’ And He said, ‘Do not lay your hand on the lad, or do anything to him; for now I know that you fear God, since you have not withheld your son, your only son, from Me.’”

God Provides in Accordance to our Needs

22:13, “Then Abraham lifted his eyes and looked, and there behind him was a ram caught in the thicket by its horns. So Abraham went and took the ram, and offered it up for a burnt offering instead of his son. And Abraham called the name of the place, The-Lord-Will-Provide; as it is said to this day, ‘In the Mount of the Lord it shall be provided.”

God rewards those who are Obedient

22:18, “In your seed all the nations of the earth shall be blessed, because you have obeyed My voice.”

Galations 3:4-9, “Have you suffered so many things in vain-if indeed it was in vain? Therefore He who supplies the Spirit to you and works miracles among you, does He do it by the works of the law, or by the hearing of the faith?-just as Abraham ‘believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness,’ Therefore know that only those who are of faith are sons of Abraham. And the Scripture, foreseeing that God would justify the Gentiles by faith, preached the gospel to Abraham beforehand, saying ‘In you all the nations shall be blessed.’ So then those who are of faith are blessed with believing Abraham.

God preached the Gospel in the Old Testament of the things to come!!

Galations 3:29, “And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.”

I was talking to a friend about God’s will for my life last night and how I often concern myself with questions such as, “well what if I go this way and it’s not God’s will for me?” His simple reply was, “Emily, God's will isn't for us to be paralyzed by our constant concern of what His will is. His will is for us to step in faith and allow His will to be done. We can't solve God's will in our minds.” Another friend reminded me of the story in Matthew 9 of the man that was paralyzed and was lowered down into the house on his mat to be healed by Jesus. Jesus says to the man, "Arise, take up your bed, and go to your house." Jesus is telling this man, go and walk home to share your testimony with those who knew you were once not able to walk and now you do. "Walking" is a term often used in the bible to represent one's faith. It was a picture of this man being forgiven of his sins, and now walking in faith. The most beautiful picture of this, is that Jesus tells this man to now CARRY the thing that once carried him, his bed. Don't allow that which once kept you from walking in the faith paralyze you now. You were forgiven so that you might go and testify of the things God has raised you up from. In Genesis, we see Abraham prophesy the coming sacrifice of our Lord by walking in the obedience that God had called him to, in faith.

It was God’s will that Christ be sacrificed on the cross for our transgressions. It was God’s will that Abraham testify of his faith in God by being obedient to what God had asked him to do. What has God asked you to do? What is your response? Are you being obedient in your actions? He will provide for you. And reward you for your obedience. But let me share with you one more thing...

It’s not about knowing what God’s will is for you. It’s not about being provided for or being rewarded for what you do. It’s about Knowing Him. By walking in faith, and positioning yourself in such a way that you are able to hear His voice, you will know Him. Your eyes will be opened to His love for you. This is God’s character.

O, that you may know Him today.

His Lovingkindness

2009-07-20T13:55:00.002-04:30

The past few months have been I believe the most precious and challenging season of my life. I have experienced so much grief and heartache with rich moments of joy in abundance without measure or reason. I give God all of the glory. John 9:24-25 “So they again called the man who was blind, and said to him, ‘Give God the glory! We know this man is a sinner.’ He answered and said, ‘whether He is a sinner or not I do not know. One thing I know: that though I was blind, now I see.’”

My life was not always like this. I didn’t always recognize God as my Beloved. He wasn’t always the center of my attention. My eyes were typically drawn to other things, and my heart was filled with idolatry and selfish ambition. Things I couldn’t have even identified at the time. My eyes were blinded, and my heart was cold and hardened towards the Lord. My ears were deaf to my Beloved’s calling. Yet, in His perfect grace, now I see and walk in the abundance of mercy and grace He has bestowed upon my life.

My boasting is in the Lord. It has to be. There is no way I can be where I am today without Him. He has saved me from my sins and rescued me from a life that was empty and unfulfilling. I was looking to people and things to satisfy my needs and desires.

We were created for relationships.

With our spouse...

Genesis 2:18, “And the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.’”

With God...

Hosea 2:19, “I will betroth you to Me forever; yes, I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and justice, in lovingkindness and mercy. I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness, and you shall know the Lord.

With other believers...

Matthew 10:40, “He who receives you receives Me, and he who receives Me receives Him who sent me.”

My struggle has always been seeking fulfillment in other people instead of turning to My Father. I allowed others to temporarily satisfy a void in me that longed for affection that they would never be able to fill. For a few years of my life, I felt God calling me to Him, and I chose to chase the things of this world that I felt would be more satisfying. I describe the Lord as a gentlemen. He stood at the door knocking, and after time He quit knocking because I wasn’t responding. I believe the Lord never left me, but I know He was watching with great pain and longing that I might look upon Him. It wasn’t until a few years later that it was almost as if I heard the Lord saying, “Emily, I’ve watched you live your life the way you’ve wanted, and I’m tired of allowing you to walk in your wickedness and disobedience, come and follow Me.” It wasn’t instant, but in His grace, I surrendered a relationship I desperately wanted to hold onto.

Since I was younger, I had a vision of the woman that I longed to be, but because of the shame and guilt that I carried in my heart, I felt as though God could never use me to truly be that woman. Lie.

Through that season, I began walking with the Lord and followed the strong desire He had given me to pursue Him. I began reading a book that I’m rereading today titled, “Completely His.” The Lord used this book as a tool to help me understand what it meant to be the bride of Christ and that He longs to have an intimate relationship with us. I had never heard of this book before. I was simply walking around Barnes and Nobles when the Lord led me to the book. The cover perfectly visualized the image I had always seen of the woman I believed God viewed me as. The cover had a woman dancing out in a field with her arms open wide, wearing a white dress. Although her face is blurred, you can see her beautiful smile. As I read this book, the author, Shannon Ethridge, describes how God used her brokenness and a time of deep darkness to bring Him glory in her walk with Him.

On a Friday night two summers ago, I attended a worship service at Christ for the Nations. As I sat and asked the Lord to please show me His undying love for me, someone placed their hand on my back and began praying for me. Although I never heard the words that were spoken, what I felt in that moment testifies that the Lord was answering that prayer. My entire body was completely saturated with a love that was unparalleled to anything I had experienced before and I knew it was the Lord. I wept for nearly three hours that night thanking God for his unrelenting love for me.

The next morning I woke up and told the Lord I was going to run until He had answered all of my questions. As I began running, the scripture, Jeremiah 29:11 that says, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future,” replayed over and over in my head for 10 miles. As I came upon the last mile home the Lord very clearly said, “In that moment I took away all of your shame and all of your guilt.” If you’ve ever experienced the feeling of believing that God cannot use you because of your sin, KNOW that this is a lie Satan wants you to believe. God takes those that are broken to use for His glory. How beautiful is His love for us.

Over the next few months, the Lord led me to a man who I truly believe loves the Lord with all of His being. Someone who captivated me because of the love of Christ that lives through him.

For two years this man loved me with the love of Christ, with patience and mercy for the countless times I fell short. Romans 3:23, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”

Although I do not understand the ways of the Lord, I trust in His works.

Psalm 23:3, “He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.”

God has and will continue to be faithful in loving me. I praise Him that my heart has not become embittered during this season. When I am alone, He comforts me.

I write this to you today so that my testimony may bring you joy in your times of suffering. I pray that your times of mourning will be turned to joy because of your relationship with the Father. Christ has overcome the grave and your sins have been forgiven. Cling to Him and He will make your ways straight. Christ suffered so that you may live.

I’ll leave you with this illustration.

Think of all of your sins.

Think of all the times you have been unfaithful as the bride of Christ.

Imagine the cross. Imagine Christ in the garden pleading with the Father to pass the cup from Him, that He would not have to drink of the sufferings to come.

Now imagine all of the burdens you have tried to carry yourself, and place them on Christ’s shoulders. The weight of death crushes you and I, but Christ saved us from that. He suffered and died so that we may live.

The wrath of God was poured out on Christ as He hung on the cross before you. Your sins today hang on that cross with Him, keeping you from the hour of trial. Because of Christ’s love for you and His obedience to the Father, Christ hid you and your sins from God so that He might present you holy and blameless, without stain or wrinkle, perfect; before the Father.

Psalm 71: 15-17, “My mouth shall tell of Your righteousness and Your salvation all the day, for I do not know their limits. I will go in the strength of the Lord God; I will make mention of Your righteousness, of Yours only. O God, You have taught me from my youth; and to this day I declare Your wondrous works.”

By His grace, may you be blessed because of His lovingkindness.

Time

2009-07-17T13:39:00.003-04:30

Blessed is He who has given me time.

He alone gave me the time to sit down and write this. He gave me time to come before His throne. He has given me time to endure the sufferings that have ultimately led me closer to Him. He has given me time to worship Him. He has given me time to be still. He alone gave me time to be patient and wait. He gave me time to heal. He gave me time so that I might come to know Him more. He gave me time to be loved. He gave me time to read His Word. He spent the time creating me knowing the time it would take Him to raise me.

How did Christ choose to use the time He had been given?

Fasted

Matthew 4:1-2 “Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. And when he had fasted forty days and forty nights, afterward He was hungry.

Called for Repentance

Matthew 4:17 “From that time, Jesus began to preach and say, ‘Repent for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.”

Called His disciples

Matthew 4:19 “Then He said to them, “Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men.”

Taught, Preached and Healed

Matthew 4:23 “And Jesus went about all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing all kinds of sickness and all kinds of disease among the people.”

5:37 “let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.” For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.”

5:42 “Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to borrow from you do not turn away.”

5:44 “But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.”

Encouraged

Matthew 5:16 “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in Heaven.”

Acknowledged Sin

5 vs. 22 “But I saw to you whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment.”

vs. 28 “But I say to you, that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

Commanded the Spirits

8:29-32 “And suddenly they cried out, saying, ‘What have we to do with You, Jesus, You Son of God? Have You come here to torment us before the time?’...So the demons begged Him, saying, ‘If you cast us out, permit us to go away into the herd of swine.’ And He said to them, ‘Go.’ So when they had come out, they went into the herd of swine. And suddenly the whoe herd of swine ran violently down the steep place into the sea, and perished in the water.”

Forgave those that sinned against His Father

9:2 “The behold, they brought to Him a paralytic lying on a bed. When Jesus saw their faith, He said to the paralytic, ‘Son, be of good cheer; your sins are forgiven you.’”

Called His Disciples to Pray

9:36-38 “But when He saw the multitudes, He was moved with compassion for them, because they were weary and scattered, like sheep having no shepherd. Then He said to His disciples, ‘The harvest truly is plentiful, but the laborers are few. Therefore pray the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest.”

26:41 “Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

Gave His disciples power

10:1 “And when He called His twelve disciples to Him, He gave them power over unclean spirits to cast them out, and to heal all kinds of sickness and all kinds of disease.”

Warns about the Persecutions to come

10:18-20 “You will be brought before governors and kings for My sake, as a testimony to them and to the Gentiles. But when they deliver you up, do not worry about how or what you should speak. For it will be given to you in that hour what you should speak; for it is not you who speak, but the Spirit of your Father who speaks in you.”

Jesus fed His children

14:18-20 “He said, ‘Bring them to Me.’ Then He commanded the multitudes to sit down on the grass. And He took the five loaves and the two fish, and looking up to heaven, He blessed and broke and have the loaves to the disciples; and the disciples gave to the multitudes. So they all ate and were filled, and they took up twelve baskets full of the fragments that remained.”

Jesus spent time alone with the Father

14:23 “And when He had sent the multitudes away, He went up to the mountain by Himself to pray. Now when evening came, He was alone there.”

26:39 “ He went a little farther and fell on His face, and prayed, saying, ‘O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.’”

26:42 “O My father, if this cup cannot pass away from Me unless I drink it, Your will be done.”

Mourned for Jerusalem

23:37 “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the one who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing! See! Your house is left to you desolate; for I say to you, you shall see Me no more till you say, ‘Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord!’”

Preached End Times

24:4 “And Jesus answered and said to them, ‘Take heed that no one deceives you. For many will come in My name, saying, ‘I am the Christ,’ and will deceive many. And you will hear of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not troubled; for al these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet. For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. And there will be famines, pestilences, and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of sorrows. They they will deliver you up to tribulation and kill you, and you will be hated by all nations for My name’s sake. And then many will be offended, (Matthew 11:6; Jesus’ words to John), will betray one another, and will hate one another. Then many false prophets will rise up and deceive many. And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold. But he who endures to the end shall be saved. And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in all the world as witness to all the nations, and then the end will come.

Took the Lord’s Supper

26:26 “And as they were eating, Jesus took the bread, blessed and broke it, and gave it to the disciples and said, ‘Take, eat; this is My body.’ Then He took the cup, and gave thanks, and gave it to them saying, ‘Drink from it, all of you. For this is My blood of the new covenant, which is shed for many for the remission of sins. But I say to you, I will not drink of this fruit from the vine from now on until that day when I drink it new with you in My Father’s Kingdom.’ And when they sung a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives.”

I come to this part of the gospel, and my heart grieves because I know that everything He did up until this point, He did for me.

Christ was persecuted before men and the Father

27:27 “Then the soldiers of the governor took Jesus into the Praetorium and gathered the whole garrison around Him. And they stripped Him and put a scarlet robe on Him. When they had twisted a crown of thorns, they put it on His head, and a reed in His right hand. And they bowed the knee before Him and mocked Him, saying, ‘Hail, King of the Jews!’ Then they spat on Him, and took the reed and struck Him on the head. And when they had mocked Him, they took the robe off Him, put His own clothes on Him, and led Him away to be crucified.”

Up unto this point, Christ lived a life as testimony to how He calls us to live.

He died, that we may live and have eternal life

27:46 “And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, ‘Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?’ that is, ‘My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?’”

27:50 “And Jesus cried out again with a loud voice, and yielded up His spirit.

Isaiah 53:4

“Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed Him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But He was wounded for our transgressions. He was bruised for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned, every one, to his own way; and the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all. He was oppressed and He was afflicted, yet He opened not His mouth; He was led as a lamb to the slaughter, and as sheep before its shearers is silent, so He opened not His mouth.”

Christ’s life was to bring glory to the Father. In His perfect time, Christ was offered up as a sacrifice for us who are not able to carry the burden of our sins.

He made intercession for us.

Isaiah 53:10-12 “Yet it pleased the Lord to bruise Him; He has put Him to grief. When You make His soul an offering for sin. He shall see His seed. He shall prolong His days. And the pleasure of the Lord shall prosper in His hand. He shall see the labor of His soul, and be satisfied. By His knowledge My righteous Servant shall justify many. For He shall bear their iniquities. Therefore I will divide the spoil with the strong, because He poured out His soul unto death, and He was numbered with the transgressors (He became one of us), and He bore the sins of many, and made intercession for the transgressors.”

Revelation 1:3 “Blessed is he who reads and those who hear the words of this prophecy, and keep those things which are written in it; for the time is near.” (speaking of the things that were revealed to His servant John, concerning the last days).

Mark 1:15 “The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand. Repent and believe in the gospel.”

How are you using the time you have been given?

With love.

Simple Love

2009-07-16T12:27:00.002-04:30

I love how the Lord shows us so much of His character just in the simple things...

I was meeting with Him in my closet, and Ridglea (my dog) wanted to come in too. She tried taking her toys in, but I didn’t want them to be a distraction, so I took her toy and placed it outside the closet. She hesitated, but followed me in. As we sat there with the Lord, she heard something that caught her attention and she wanted out. I let her go, and when she came back to the door, I could hear her waiting at the door crying to come in. I also knew that she had brought her toy with her. Because I wanted her to be near me, I let her back in hoping that once she came in she would eventually lose interest in what once was a distraction and just be still.

The Lord revealed to me how He views spending time with us. He desires to be near to us. He sees the desires of our hearts and how they are a distraction to us. He’s a gentlemen in removing those desires because He longs for you to just be with Him. In our hesitation, we move slowly into His presence. Once we’ve entered into His presence, we often allow the things of this world to take our focus off of Him. We go after other things, and once we’ve chased that desire for a while, we eventually come back to the door and wait for Him to let us back in. He sees that you still have the same desires in your heart, but because His desire is ultimately to spend time with you even if you have chosen to hold on to the things He’s asked you to surrender to Him. He knows that what He has for you is far greater than the simple pleasures we hold in our hearts. He is patient because He is God and because He knows that eventually you will grasp His love for you, and you’ll realize that what once seemed to fill you does not compare to what He has for you.

"ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened."-Matthew 7:7-8

The Bridegroom

2009-07-16T07:55:00.005-04:30

I have a photograph in my kitchen that I took called "His and Hers." Its a photograph of two coffee cups, one black and the other nearly white because of all the cream and sugar. I just made my His cup a Hers.

I've just recently moved to Ft. Worth and have finally settled in and feel "at home." I made the decision to move out because I really just wanted some "alone" time, just me and God. Turns out, I really just felt pretty alone. It took me about a week to get used to being out here. I struggled with not having anything to do, no cable, no internet, no one. period. Everyone I tried to spend time with had other things to do, no one was calling me back, or even calling me. I began asking God why He was making this so difficult on me. When I began sharing these feelings with a good friend, He told me, "He just wants you to go to Him, just go to Him."

I'm pretty sure I went home and turned on the TV (It took the AT&T guy 3 1/2 hours to set it up...even He said, "Maybe you're just not supposed to have TV"). I've turned my TV on twice now since I've had cable in the two and a half weeks since I've had it. I've realized what used to fulfill me, no longer has an effect on me. I've recently made a commitment to not watch chick flicks anymore. Something I really loved to do....so much so it was one of my favorite things to do to just go and see the movie by myself in theaters. It was like a date with myself. No one to entertain. Just me and that screen. I just realized, its producing in me a false hope. I watch the movies because something deep inside of me longs for the affection and the attention I see on the screen. It's false. When the movie is over, I feel worse than when I started the movie. I share all of this with you, because like many women, we can find ourselves sitting somewhere in a public place, see a good looking guy and play the whole thing out in our heads about how we met and he pursued and wooed us and now we have 3 beautiful children and he hasn't even made eye contact with you! Really. Okay, maybe you've never done that, but I'm just going to lay that out on the table that I'm guilty of that. I don't want to be, but since I was little that's all I've ever seen in movies, so why wouldn't it be like that? Right? Of course not. It's all in God's timing.

The scripture in Song of Solomon, 2:7 states, "Do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases." Imagine your best friend coming home and sharing with you that she has found the one. She tells her friends, "I am lovesick" and her beloved has barely even made it back into his car. She is advising you, please wait and be patient until your love has come. Don't going looking for it! She shares all this with you because she desperately wants you to have what she has found. As she's telling you about him, her beloved calls out to her, He says, "Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away." vs. 10.

The Lord has begun to create a sense of urgency in me to let me know He is waiting to be with me. I consider it to be one of the greatest graces He has bestowed upon me. It's as if He is calling me into the wedding chambers (my closet) just to be with Him. Sometimes I'll go to Him and just sit and be still and other times I'll pour my heart out to Him about all the things I'm struggling with. Whatever it is, He delights in the simple fact that I choose to meet with Him. He calls you and I to Him just like in the scriptures!

One thing the Lord has removed from my heart is the desire of a lavished wedding. The Lord has truly blessed me with several dreams leading up to one in particular that stands out from the rest. After 4 dreams in a row basically showing me the same thing, before going to bed the 5th night, I asked the Lord that He would reveal to me what He wanted me to see. The 5th night was a dream about my wedding. In the dream, I was preparing for my wedding in a building not too far from where the actual wedding was going to take place. I remember walking out of the bridal room and asking a woman if the wedding over in the sanctuary (my wedding) had already started. She said that indeed she believed it had just started, but to my surprise, it was if she didn't even recognize that I was the bride. Before I went into the sanctuary, my dad came to me and told me that my groom thought that it was time for us to get married, it was as if he said it with uncertainty. I remember going to the Lord and asking, "Lord, is it your will that I get married? Is this what you want?" As I walked to the sanctuary, I was to anxious to sit and wait, so I walked in. I didn't walk down the center isle, I simply walked in and sat down in a pew on the right side of the church, fully clothed in my wedding dress. I remember thinking, "why is no one looking at me?" "why has no one noticed I'm the bride?" The people in my dream were all the people we had invited to my wedding and I remember thinking, "Why are they here? Didn't they get our letter that we've called off the wedding?" As I sat in the pew, my father came and set behind me and held my hand as we listened to the preacher give a strong word. Most of the people in the congregation weren't even listening. The thing that struck me most though, was when the banner was raised. What would have said my name and the groom's name, just said...."My Glorious King." This wedding was not the one I had planned, it was the Lords.

I wear a gold wedding band on my left ring finger. It may seem odd to some people, but several weeks before Billy and I had even gotten engaged, I sensed the Lord asking me to be His bride. I was so excited, I went and bought a gold ring to symbolize the marriage. When Billy and I got engaged, I wore the ring he had purchased for me and placed the other one in a box, hidden away in my closet. It wasn't until what would have been my wedding day, that I sensed the Lord, again, asking me to be His bride. Not wanting it to be a desire of my flesh that I wear the ring, I asked the Lord to show me what He wanted me to do. I asked Him to lead me. He led me to His word and revealed to me Rev. 2:3-5. "and you have persevered and have patience,and have labored for My name's sake and have not become weary. Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works, or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lampstand from its place-unless you repent." I spent that time in prayer and asked the Lord, "please Lord, forgive me for leaving you and going astray..I ask for forgiveness that by Your grace, I might fellowship with you, Father." Rev. 3:7..."I know your works. See I have set before you an open door, and no one can shut it; for you have a little strength and have kept My word, and have not denied My name...Because you have kept My command to persevere, I also will keep you from the hour of trial which shall come upon the whole world, to test those who dwell on the earth...Behold, I am coming quickly! Hold fast what you have, that no one may take your crown. He who overcomes, I will make him a pillar in the temple of My God, and he shall go out no more. I will write on him the name of My God and the name of the city of My God, the New Jerusalem, which comes down out of heaven from My God. And I will write on him My new name."

I still may not understand why, but I do know to walk softly and wait on the Lord. Be patient and be still. Go to Him and continue to go to Him. His timing is right. It is perfect. When I feel like I've spent all the time I can with Him, I still want more time. As you read Song of Solomon, I encourage you to look at how He describes His bride. How beautiful she is to Him. How He embraces her and calls out to her. My desire is to have and know that kind of love. For you to know that kind of love. To know that the God of all living creatures here on earth and in heaven desires to whoo and pursue you, sister! 7:10 "I am my beloved's, and HIs desire is toward me."

8:6 "Set me as a seal upon your heart,

As a seal upon your arm;

For love is as strong as death,

Jealousy as cruel as the grave,

Its flames are flames of fire,

A most vehement flame.

Many waters cannot quench love,

Nor can floods drown it.

If a man would give for love

All the wealth of his house,

It would be utterly despised."

Your bridegroom has already paid the price for your wedding day, He's made all the appropriate arrangements. The wedding feast has been prepared, and the proper garments are awaiting you as you meet with Him each day in the bridal chambers. May He clothe you with righteousness, truth and the crown of glory as He takes you before His throne and presents you to the Father today.

Be ravished by His love for you.

Misty Edwards You Won't Relent

My Dad.

2009-06-20T22:04:00.007-04:30

I feel as though I have so much on my heart this evening, and I'm not exactly sure where to begin in pulling out the loose string to start unraveling it all. My cousin got married today in Dallas. It was also the first time I've gotten to see my dad in a few months. Recently, I've started turning off my radio in the car while I'm driving and voice my prayers out loud to God. On the way out to Dallas, I began praying for Allison and her husband and for the vows that they would be committing before the Lord. I also prayed for my dad and our relationship to be strengthened while he was here. As I walked inside the church, I was greeted by most of my extended family and continued down the isle to sit in the pew with the rest of my family. A few minutes later, he came in a found a seat next to mine. I began praying about the ceremony, and that I would find my strength in the joy of the Lord. I was doing good, until I looked up and saw my dad begin to cry as his brother-in-law walked Allison down the isle and gave her to her husband. I knew what my dad was thinking, and it pained me to see that not only am I affected by it all, so is he. He held my hand as the made their way before the pastor; something I can't remember him doing in years. The music started, and we watched as pictures of the two of them flashed across the screen in front of us, we lost it again and this time my dad just held me as I attempted to keep my pathetic whimpering to a minimum. I listened as the pastor spoke of the two becoming one flesh. We were doing good again....until they started their saying their vows. At this point, I was clenching my toes against the pew in front of me trying to do anything I could to keep my thoughts on God and not on myself. My dad held my hand and cried softly trying to hide his tears. He rubbed this thumb over my hand that felt so small in comparison to his. It wasn't about me. I wasn't about the the wedding. It was about being loved by my dad.

I couldn't help but think about the day that I will get married, and my dad will be there to give me away. Writing this now allows me to recognize that now I have more time to build the relationship I've wanted with my daddy before he gives me away. It's the same thing I've believed the Lord has been doing with me the last two months and has wanted me to recognize. And He choose to show me it through my earthly father! He doesn't want to give me away as a bride until I understand His love for me. We cannot love one another with a fulfilling and true love without first knowing the love that comes from our Father! I love my dad so much, but I felt as though our relationship over the years has dwindled some and I desperately wanted it to be like it used to be when I was little and I felt like my dad could protect me from anything. He was the one that tucked me in at night and checked my closet and under the bed for any monsters. He's the one that sang to me and fell asleep next to me when he would read me stories at bedtime. He's the one I can remember dancing with, with my small feet on top of his. I was his little girl and nothing could go wrong if my dad was there. I felt that way again for the first time today during the wedding. On June 6th, my dad called me and we talked about the future. He told me that when I decide to date again, that He expects a phone call or a visit first from the guy in order to ask his permission to date his daughter. This may sound silly to you, but to me this was the greatest gift I could have received from my dad on that day in particular. It showed me that when I was hurting, he was hurting with me and wants to do everything he can to prevent me from having to go through this pain again. How much more with the Lord? I know God knows the pain I have felt and knows my heart inside and out. He knows my thoughts and holds me without ever letting go. What a blessing to see how God used my dad today to show me what He wants to do with me through a wedding. And since I won't see my dad tomorrow, today we celebrated Father's Day.

There is so much more I could go on to share with you, but for now know that He above all things is good. He knows the plans He has for you.

Put it before Him today. Ask and it will be Given.

Patience

2009-06-10T22:28:00.003-04:30

I had just gotten back to my house and was ready to get some food in me and take a good long nap. I had just gotten back from a really long week at camp and was exhausted from everything. I was boiling water over the stove and had poured the noodles in the water to begin cooking. I walked to my bedroom to grab some clothes to put into the laundry. It had only been about a minute since the noodles had been cooking. As I entered the kitchen I picked up the seasoning for the soup and began opening up the package to pour it in (yes, I was making Ramen...) when the thought, “If you’re patient it will be better,” popped into my head. The noodles weren’t ready yet, and sometimes when I get impatient waiting, I’ll pour the seasoning in too early and then the soup doesn’t taste very good and I’ll regret it later.

I love how God uses the smallest things to get my attention. On the way home from getting my car, I drove around for a bit to just wind down from the week. I enjoy spending time in the car sometimes with worship music on and other times just enjoying the silence. It’s one of the few precious moments I can be in solitude. I tend to cry a lot during these times, not necessarily because I’m sad, but most of the time just because God shows me so much of who He is. It’s almost as if I’ll go my whole day forgetting that He’s been waiting on me, and the moment I get into my car, He’s there and I remember that I can just hand Him everything I’ve been trying to juggle myself and He takes it away from me in an instance. The burden is lifted from me and onto Him. I’m mesmerized at His love for us. I was thinking about the blog and what I might write today. I thought, “I write a lot on suffering, and feel like I might have said everything I know about it for it right now.” Just as I was thinking about this, I passed a church and read their sign. It read, Romans 8:14-17. For those of you who know my story, this is the exact passage I enclosed in the letter Billy and I sent out when we decided to call off the wedding. The scripture challenges us that as heirs of Christ, IF we indeed suffer with Christ, we also will be gloried together with Christ. It’s the scripture I have clung to during this season. It’s been a huge encouragement to me.

Before I had started the soup, I was having a hard moment thinking about everything and had allowed my mind to have control over my emotions. What I love so much about God is that He knows our hearts inside and out. He also knows the plans we have yet to be able to see through our hurts. It was so simple, but as I heard the words, “If you’re patient, it will be better,” I couldn’t help but smile. I truly did have my mind on the soup, but God used that to quickly change the thought to Him as a reminder to wait on Him.

I know when you’re going through a difficult time people tend to say, “be patient and wait on the Lord. His plans are so much bigger and better than anything you can imagine. You’re time will come.” Well, all I can say to you, is listen. They’re right. It’s so hard, but He is so good and He really does love us!

Billy wrote my mom a letter and she received it while I was at camp. She let me read the letter, and although it was hard to read, it brought me so much joy to see how God really is working in him and he’s recognizing it. He mentioned the lesson I always share with people in my testimony that I believe the greatest sufferings bring our greatest blessings. I praised the Father, because although we don’t know where we will be in the years to come, if the past two years were only to do what He’s doing in Billy right now, it was worth it. God is glorified in those words and it is already a blessing to me to be able to see that.

Remember Job in his time of trials. The Lord says in Job 2:6, as He speaks with Satan, “Behold he is in your hand, but spare his life.” What a remarkable mark in time. God claims Job as a blameless and upright man, one who fears God and shuns evil. Job 2:9, “Then his wife said to him, ‘Do you still hold fast to your integrity? Curse God and die!’” Job 2:12-13, speaking of Job’s friends says, “..they lifted their voices and wept; and each one tore his robe and sprinkled dust on his head towards heaven. So they sat down with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his grief was very great.” Although Job’s wife and friends loved Job very much, and they meant well, we see Job keep His eyes on God. He knows that even in His trials, God is bigger than whatever adversities he’s facing. He asks his wife in vs. 10, “Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall not accept adversity?”

He says it perfectly in 1:21, “The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”

Flip to the end of Job and you’ll read Job’s response to the Lord, “I know that you can do everything, and that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You. You asked, ‘Who is this who hides counsel without knowledge?’ Therefore I uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. Listen, please, and let me speak; You said, ‘I will question you, and you shall answer Me.’ I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear. But now my eye sees You.”

vs. 12 “Now the Lord blessed the latter days of Job more than the beginning.”

Continue to walk in this way, and you too shall be blessed.

Endure, Be Patient and Praise Him above All Things.

Baby Eliot

Praise you Jesus

2009-06-04T22:09:00.003-04:30

Today was the last day with my kids at school. After everyone had gone home, I set up against the wall underneath my chalkboard and just closed my eyes and breathed. I must have set there for at least twenty minutes just in silence, sometimes talking to the Lord, at some points just enjoying being completely still. I knew this day was coming, but it wasn't until I had come to this last day that I was able to reflect on this past year and thank God for carrying me through with His promises. The plans I had for my own life over a year ago never involved me working with children with special needs. I wasn't even comfortable around children with special needs. But quickly, God changed everything. His plans were perfect. And they eventually led me to being in a high school living life with the most beautiful children. I don't think I've ever had a perfect day since I started working there, but I also don't think a day passed where I wasn't learning something new about God's character. He taught me so much about life in my classroom, with my students and with the people I work with. It has been such a blessing. As I sat there, I became exhausted. I knew I had been stressed, but the feeling of it all falling off my shoulders was almost unbelievable. I thanked the Lord for bringing me to this place and for providing me with a job for an entire year. I just thanked Him for being constant in my life. He brings so much joy and fulfillment into my life.

I think it's hard most times when we're stuck in a situation where we just feel like maybe God's not there, or He's not listening, or we can't hear Him. But how are you responding?

One of my good family friends asked me how I was doing just the other day. I guess he could sense that I was having a hard day that day. I told him I just wanted it to be June 7th. He looked at me, and said, "No, Emily. What you need to be doing is praising God!" "Praise God because He's big enough and He loves you and wants to show you His love." He pointed out that God knows our desires and He is fully capable of all things.

I know that in the past it's been really hard for me to choose to praise God in the midst of hard times, but the past year has been different. The scripture says, The Lord's joy is our strength. This is so true. Have you have given God the glory when you feel like you've just reached the bottom? I remember a time that the Lord had just taught me about praising Him in these times. I remember having the scene set for me. Imagine God on His throne in heaven with all of the angels and creatures surrounding Him and they're worshipping Him and during this time, God's eyes are focused on you. He sees you and your pain. He sees Satan and his demons hard at work breaking down His child, and then in the midst of everything going on, you stand up, raise your hands to the heavens and start praising God for who He is! Do you recognize what this means to our Father and to Satan? Recognize that it's not about you or me. It's about our God. It's about living your life through His son Jesus Christ for HIS glory.

The next few days, I'm assuming are going to be difficult for me because the plans I had, won't be. But my challenge for myself is that I might praise God all the more for loving me and allowing me, by His grace, to walk with Him through it all. We may not always know where God's plans are going to lead us, but in time we'll be able to look back and praise God for all the many great works He has done in us and through us.

Give Him Honor and Praise.

For Every Seed I have Received I Will Sew

2009-05-23T14:08:00.005-04:30

Ashley and I met this morning for coffee and ended up in a discussion about Jesus and where He has taken us personally on this journey with Him. She was going over scripture that had just filled her up with joy in understanding more of who God says He is. One of the passages she mentioned was Psalms 77. Before moving on, I asked her if we could go over the passage for a bit. A couple nights before, I had been reading this part in scripture and the Lord revealed something to me. Psalms 77 reads:

"I cried out to God with my voice-to God with my voice; and He gave ear to me. In the day of my trouble I sought the Lord; My hand was stretched out in the night without ceasing; My soul refused to be comforted. I remembered God and was troubled; I complained and my spirit was overwhelmed. You hold my eyelids open; I am so troubled that I cannot speak. I have considered days of old, the years of ancient times. I call to remembrance my song in the night; I meditate within my heart, and my spirit makes diligent search. Will the Lord cast off forever? And will He be favorable no more? Has His mercy ceased forever? Has His promise failed forevermore? Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has He in anger shut up His tender mercies?

And I said, 'This is my anguish; but I will remember the years of the right hand of the Most High,' I will remember the works of the Lord; Surely I will remember Your wonders of old. I will also meditate on all Your work. And talk of your deeds. Your way, O God, is in the sanctuary; who is so great a God as our God? You are the God who does wonders; You have declared Your strength among the people, the sons of Jacob and Joseph. The waters saw you, O God; The waters saw you, they were afraid; the depths also trembled. The clouds poured out water; the skies sent out sound; your arrows also flashed about. The voice of your thunder was in the whirlwind; the lightnings lit up the world; the earth trembled and shook. You way was in the sea, your path in the great waters, and Your footsteps were not known. You led your people like a flock by the hand of Moses and Aaron."

What the Lord showed me was that as the psalmist was writing, he starts out by pointing out all of his sorrows and his complaints to God in what he feels the Lord is not moving in. He asks God several questions in why He is allowing this man to endure suffering. There comes a time in our lives where we have to recognize that God is in complete control, and until we give God that recognition, our minds will continue to rule over our hearts and allow us to think that God is no longer near. When in fact, God is near and knows exactly how you feel. The second part of scripture is when the psalmist finally acknowledges his self-pity and begins thanking God for all of His many great works. He makes a conscience decision to stop asking God where He is, and begins walking in the faith that God is in control no matter if we feel His presence or not. He praises God and begins to walk in that hope of who God is. Remember this Psalm in the midst of your trials, and live in the hope that God is who He says He is and that He once again will pull you through if you make that decision to lay it at His feet. Think of the Israelites who constantly lived their lives going to serve other Gods but because of the fear of the Lord, would come back to Him and He would have mercy on them. How much easier would it have been had they just decided to choose God even when times got hard. Be encouraged that in these times, you are being refined. He has a purpose.

Desert Song:Hillsong

You are more precious than gold, which perishes in the fire.

Word

2009-05-21T21:55:00.003-04:30

I went to the gym Monday and lifted weights for a little bit before taking a long run. I thought I stretched well enough before I started, that I didn't stretch any once I finished my run. The next morning, I felt great! My body was energized and ready to go again. Wednesday morning, I placed my foot down on the floor getting out of bed and nearly collapsed in pain. Because I hadn't stretched my calf muscles after the run, they cramped up. I spent all day today and yesterday walking around on my tippy-toes because it hurt too bad to walk. In the mornings and in the evenings, I'd take time sitting down and really stretching the muscles out. Eventually, the muscles became more loose and I could walk some, but any time I sat down again, they'd cramp right back up.

I paint this picture because I realized today it's a lot like how I spend my time with God. I forget to stretch before the run. We must be filled with God's Word in order to pour out. The purpose of God's Word is that we're in it, we're reading it, we're learning it and living it so that we know God. It's our food. As an infant can't survive without the mother's milk, neither can a Christian survive without the Word. We'd dry up.

Take the time to sit down with the Father today. Put on some worship and dig in. And take some time to practice just being still with the Lord.

Just stop and listen to His voice. He loves you....Oh, how He loves you.

A Child's Heart

2009-05-15T21:55:00.005-04:30

My heart is completely captivated by children. Today my principal was running around aimlessly at our high school, she just looked at me and said, "I've got 200 kindergartners up in my office, and I can't find out where they're supposed to go!" When I turned the corner a minute later, there they were, dressed for Field Day and perfectly silent. I walked passed one of the teachers and said, "that's pretty impressive!" She just laughed. When I came back from out of the office, my Principal just looked at me with a look of hopelessness and she taught 200 kindergartners how to hold up their "KICK 'EM COLTS!" signs, and just laughed. My only response was, this makes me happy...

Last night when I came home, before I even got out of my car, I had decided I was going to walk in and go straight to my bed. My three year old niece caught my attention on route. I stopped to talk with her as she played with her little mermaid in the bathtub. I turned to say hi to my mom, and when I did, Gabby yelled, "I don't like you Mimi!" (what she calls my mom). Usually, this wouldn't have bothered me so much because sometimes I think she really doesn't even know what she's saying or what it means. But this time it really struck a chord. I said, "Gabby, that wasn't a very nice thing to say to Mimi, you need to tell her you're sorry." She just looked at me like, "really? I'm three!" I said it again, but no response. She just looked at me for a while. I was just finishing up talking to my mom and was turning to leave, when Gabby said something that stopped me. She said, "Emily? Is God mad at me?" Without knowing how to respond, my mom quickly responded with, "God is sad with you when you say those kind of things." Moms are so great with words. She looked at me again for a while and then said, "Mimi! I'm sorry!" I just smiled. I love when she talks about God, because if only for a moment, it's as if something's really got her thinking. We continued talking and she said, "Emily? is God angry with me now? " I said, "No, Gabby, God loves you." She asked, "but why?" Her question made me think. "He loves us because He chose to, Gabby. You're His precious daughter. That makes you a princess!" And just as my mom was saying, "now that's a concept she's not ready for," Gabby interrupted and said, "Isn't Jesus the daddy?" I said no, "God is the Father and Jesus is the Son." She responded, "Oh! okay so is my daddy a prince!?" I said, "You're absolutely right." She seemed satisfied with the conversation and ended it with, "SO....you're a princess? and I'm a princess? and Mimi's a princess? and Ms. Roxie's a princess and...." I think she caught it.

Psalm 78 talks about God's kindness to Israel. If you've ever read the Old Testament, you'll find that God's elect, his children of Israel reject Him over and over again all the way through the OT. God chooses kings and His prophets to lead His people and all the way through we read about how they praised God for all the good things He was doing, then they went off and served other gods, were chastened by the Lord, repented and then the Lord poured out His mercy on them. Psalm 78 is a great summary of some of the things God did in the Old Testament, even before the time of Christ.

"He divided the sea and caused them to pass through and He made the waters stand up like a heap."
"In the daytime He lead them with the cloud, and all night with the light of fire."
"He split the rocks in the wilderness and gave them drink in the abundance like the depths."
"He rained down manna on them to eat, and given them of the bread of heaven."
"He also rained meat on them like the dust, feathered fowl like the sand of the seas."

It says closer to the middle of the chapter, "So they ate and were filled, for He gave them their own desire." "Then they remembered that God was their rock, and the Most High God their Redeemer. Neverless they flattered Him with their mouth, and they lied to Him with their tongue; for their heart was not steadfast with Him, nor were they faithful in His covenant. But He, being full of compassion, forgave their iniquity..."

When we're young, we ask lots of questions because we want to know everything about all things. We want to understand why? or how things work. We're filled with a desire to know more and we trust that the people in our lives will give us the truth. As we get older, the questions we ask typically become more inquisitive, because somewhere in our life we stopped trusting and came up with our own ideas of what the truth really is.

Had the Israelites stopped questioning God's authority and just trusted that He would lead them, they probably wouldn't have been left in the desert for 40 years. But even then, God provided for their needs because He loved them and had compassion on His people.

Why do we still think we know it all? Wouldn't it be easier if we took on the characteristics of a child, and just trusted God. That's His desire for us. "But He who trusts in the Lord, mercy shall surround him." Psalm 32:10 "They trusted, and you delivered them." Psalm 22:4

Even as an infant, "But You are He who took Me out of the womb; You made Me trust while on my mother's breasts." Psalm 22:9

I'll say one more thing about how trust correlates with how God works in our lives. Kellie and I were talking one evening about God and His hand in our lives. We were talking about how sometimes it's hard when we can't actually feel Him near. The Lord showed me this picture. When a father is teaching his child to ride a bike, he has one hand on the child, and one hand on the bike. He teaches the child everything about how to ride the bike and leads the bike with one hand in the direction he wants the child to go. He spends a lot of time teaching his child how to make turns, stop and watch for danger. And one day, he lets go of the bike. It's not because the Father is leaving his child, it's because he wants to see how well the child does with what he's taught him. And if the child falls, he's the first one there to pick him up and carry him. I love this, because it is a perfect example of how our Father loves us. If you ever feel as though our Father is far, just remember He promises never to leave you. He's just checking to see what you're going to do with everything He's shown you. It's walking in faith. In the things unseen.

His plans for our lives are perfect and we can trust in that. Just let go of whatever it is that you're holding on to, and lay it at His feet. Sometimes, what we want for our lives is going to be different from what God wants for our lives. Each morning wake up and practice asking the Lord what it is that He desires for your life. When you trust the Lord, your faith is strengthened. Your heart is filled with joy, and God's name is lifted higher.

Put your trust in the Father.

A Groaning Heart

2009-05-10T17:25:00.005-04:30

Heavenly Father,

I am so thankful for your love for us, God. Thank you that in each of our lives you place trials in front of us so that we may lean on you. That we might search our hearts and know you more. God you gave us life so that we might love you on this earth, and die to be with you one day in heaven (Romans 14). God may your name be lifted high through us.

One thing I have learned through my circumstances is that God is in control of my life, and asking "why, Father?" only makes my heart become more embittered and angry with God and the people in my life. Why God would you give me this amazing man in my life to show your love for me in the form of a man? and then strip him from me? Why?

Believe me, my heart has groaned. I have been enslaved by my own questions. I felt as though I had asked every question I could have asked the Lord and not one was answered. I knew He was listening though. It wasn't that He had left me. He promises never to leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). I just realized I was asking the wrong questions. Regardless if it was God's will or not, I may not know until the day I leave this world to be with my God.

What questions are you asking the Lord? Is He answering you? Are you listening? Mark spoke on hearing from God this morning at Connect. We hear from God in several ways, in nature, in scripture...from people. He left us with the question, are you positioning yourself in such a way that you can hear the Father speak to you? Is your heart lined up with His will for your life. Is what you want what God wants for you? Is it your flesh? If what you want is what God wants, He'll give you direction to get you there. If it's not His will for you, I've found He's a gentlemen. He guides us with so much love, with so much compassion and understanding in where we are. He knows our hearts so much better than we know our own. He knows your hurts. He knows how much you want what you can't have. But lean on Him and He will direct your steps. "Now may the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God and into the patience of Christ." 2 Thessalonians 3:5. Patience takes time. When I was younger, I was riding in the car with my mom and she asked me what I was thinking. I told her I was praying for patience. She told me, "Emily, God doesn't just give us patience, He gives you situations to learn patience." It's one of the best things my mom has ever taught me. This lesson laid the foundations for me in understanding how God works.

Let me explain. I'm sure you've prayed for faith before. Did He give you faith? Or did He give you circumstances in which you had to learn to trust Him? When disaster hits, how do you pray? Do you pray that God would give you something, or take something away? What if you prayed that His will would be carried out through you during this time. What if your desire was to glorify Him in this time of suffering. To be able to give testimony of what He is doing in your life.

I say all of this because I have been there several times in my life. And I still struggle with it. And although God strengthens my faith each time I'm placed before trials, I have a choice to turn and follow Him, or sulk in self pity. Just know whichever way you choose to take, He desires your heart and He's going to continue to place trials in front of you until you finally surrender it all and choose Him. He wants ALL of you. You get to decide which path you'll choose. My prayer for you is that you choose Him when He gives you the opportunity to endure suffering...so that your faith may be strengthened and your love for Him and His children will grow.

My heart burns for each of you that you may know Christ and our Father intimately.

My hurt has not gone away, but I know that it gets better every day. I know that His desire is heal me completely. I am thankful for the people He has given to me during this season of my life and the intimate testimonies strangers have openly shared with me that I may know our Lord more and His workings in our lives.

Be still today. Know that He is God. You are loved. You are precious to Him.

Thankful

2009-05-07T22:43:00.000-04:30

I am so in love with our Jesus! Thank you Lord for all of your goodness and beauty that is revealed through your precious children. Thank you for loving us. We are worth nothing and deserve even less. I thank you Lord that you call us into your throne room. I thank you that you were willing to give your Son for our lives. I thank you that you choose me for this life. Wrap your arms around us tonight as we sleep. We thank you for making your presence known in our lives.

I love you.

The Good Shepherd

2009-05-06T21:10:00.000-04:30

John 10:11 "I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep."

If you've ever read anything on sheep, you might know that a shepherd's job is to watch over the sheep, day and night and keep them from harm. The sheep know the shepherd's voice. Jesus says in John 10:27, "My sheep hear my voice, and I know them and they follow Me." Someone who does not own the sheep or care for the sheep is called a hireling. When the hireling sees a wolf coming he leaves the sheep and flees; and the wolf catches the sheep and scatters them.

What you may have not heard is what a shepherd does when one of his sheep has gone astray. The shepherd will leave his flock to find the one sheep and when he finds it, he breaks its legs and carries the sheep over his shoulders until its legs have healed. This teaches the sheep never to leave the shepherd.

I love sharing this with you because I think it's one of the most vivid images of how God loves us. So often we turn away and chase things that don't bring glory to the Father. We choose a relationship or a job or some other thing instead of God. While for me there have been times in which I felt as though the Lord allowed me to stray for a time before coming to get me, I know His eyes were always on me. I know that when I left Him, He would come find me. The hardest part is when he has to break me. He does this because He loves me, and His desire is for me to trust in Him. That He is the only way. And He is the only one big enough to hold me. He is the only one willing to carry me through until He has healed me.

As I was using my time wisely at work one day, I was reading John's story about Christ' crucifixion on the cross. I realized that the gospel of John is the only book that mentions what the Jews do with Jesus' body immediately following the moment in which His spirit left His body. John 19:31 says, "Therefore because it was preparation day, that the bodies should not remain on the cross on the Sabbath, the Jews asked Pilate that their legs might be broken, and that they might be taken away. Then the soldiers came and broke the legs of the first and of the other who was crucified with Him. But when they came to Jesus and saw that He was already dead, they did not break His legs....vs. 36 reads, "For these things were done that the Scripture should be fulfilled, 'Not one of His bones should be broken."

Christ was tempted, mocked, shamed, broken and crucified for you and I. Christ walked and lived the same life you and I are living, but without sin. He even suffered as you and I suffer. He paid the ultimate sacrifice. The only difference? God never had to break His legs, because He was never led astray. Sheep listen to the Shepherd's voice, but when fear and trials come we often tend to try and flee. We look to other things to help us find a way out. But without Christ, we're lost. It is only by His grace that He breaks us in our sin, and carries us until we have healed.

Be blessed today. In Christ's love.

Jesus' Prayer

2009-05-05T21:29:00.000-04:30

I just got home from my first ever Cheerleading Booster Club Meeting...never knew it could be so much fun...haha

What I look forward to most is that I coach with two really incredible girls who both really love the Lord and desire to love on our girls with that love. Ashley, the JV coach, started at AHS with me this year, so we're both getting to experience our first year of teaching together. That in itself has been a blessing...because the first year is a beating. Not because your kids aren't wonderful...I LOVE my kids, but because starting anything new is a challenge, and when they stick you in a room and tell you to go for it...you're asking yourself, "who thought sticking a 22 year old, straight out of college into a classroom would even kind of be a good idea?" They really need to start a program that requires your mom to be your mentor in your classroom that first year.

On top of just getting to experience our first year together as teachers and coaches, we've built a really strong relationship that started mainly because we both desire to be close with God. Be Completely His. Ashley, oddly enough, has gone through the same situation I am going through now about two years ago. Ending an engagement. We've talked about this several times before, and I know she sees it as a blessing in so many ways now, so I hope she doesn't mind me sharing this with you. I say this because, I love that in so many ways, God gives us His children to bless us. And before you and I, God gave Jesus, you and me, as an inheritance. I'm going to share with you my favorite passage in the Bible from John.

John 17.

"Jesus spoke these words, lifted up His eyes to heaven, and said: 'Father, the hour has come. Glorify Your Son, that Your Son also may glorify You, as You have given Him authority over all flesh that He should give eternal life to as many as You have given Him. And this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent. I have glorified You on earth. I have finished the work which You have given Me to do. And now, O Father, glorify Ne together with Yourself, with the glory which I had with You before the world was."

I love this passage because I believe it to be the most intimate conversation we see in the Bible between Jesus and the Father. It is Jesus' prayer before the crucifixion. I see it as an incredible blessing that God even allows us to read these words. Jesus knew that He was Completely His. I also find it interesting that this passage correlates perfectly back to the scripture in Romans that we too would be glorified with Christ in our suffering. After Jesus prays for himself, he goes on to pray for His disciples and you and I.

"I do not pray for these alone, (speaking of His disciples) but also for those who will believe in Me through their word; that they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us, that the world may believe that You sent Me. And the glory which You gave Me I have given then, that they may be one just as We are one...O righteous Father! The world has not known You, but I have known You' and these have known that You sent me."

My desire is to be Completely His. In everything I do, I want to be wholly and completely His. I don't know what or how I am going to get there, but what I do know is that I have the faith, only by His grace, that He will complete a good work in me. And because before you and I were brought into this world, Jesus prayed that prayer before giving His life on the cross so that you and I would know the Father in heaven as Jesus knew Him, and was made perfect in Him. It was His prayer. And now because Christ lives in you, if you have repented and called upon His name that you might be saved through the power of the Holy Spirit, it was His prayer for you as well that you might be Completely His.

Know that your name was given to Jesus as an inheritance from the Father the day he carried the cross. He already loved you then, and He loves you today with a perfect love.

What a glorious God we serve.

In Love: Seeing the Invisible

2009-05-04T11:15:00.000-04:30

2 Corinthians 4:16-18, 5:5-10

Kel sent me a text this morning to let me know she had been reading 2 Corinthians 4 and encouraged me to read it. I was on my way out to get started @ Starbucks. It’s one of my places...or it once was my place. It’s been a while since I’ve had my quiet times there. But I’m getting back into it again. It’s good to find a place where you can be ‘alone’ with the Father and hear from him. I know some people who get in their closets and just wait on the Lord to meet them there. It was once described to me in a book...it’s like Jesus is sitting in your closet and He’s planned this incredible date for you, He’s been planning your date since before the creation of the world (how many guys do you know could do this?) and He can’t WAIT to see you! Everything is set, but then He looks down at His watch and notices you were supposed to meet him an hour ago. He longs to spend time with you. Even when you’re angry with Him, He wants to hear your heart and longs to be the One to make it better. He desires above all things to love you more today. But you know that God loves you and just decided to reschedule and go out with your friend for lunch. Don’t get me wrong, you and I both know that nothing you do will ever change God’s heart for you. But are you doing everything you can to make your relationship with our Jesus intimate? Know that God’s watch means nothing to Him. He can turn back the time and start that day over for you. Just ask Him :)

I opened up to 2 Corinthians 4 and started reading. I think a lot of times, we tend to read and reread certain things and they never really click in our spirits. This would typically be when I flip over the pages until I find something else to read. This clicked. And IT IS GOOD.

The NKJV reads the scripture like this,

16. “Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day.” Paul was previously speaking about our mortal bodies and how we who live, are always delivered to death for Jesus’ sake, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. Saying that, in order for Jesus to be manifested in us, we must daily die to ourselves. By the Lord’s grace, he allows us to be delivered over to death. In doing so, our ‘inward man’ is being renewed. Rejoice in your sufferings!

17. “For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceedingly and eternal weight of glory.” Did you ever feel like this when you’re hurting? Your affliction is actually working for you!? Not against you. It is for your eternal glory. Romans 8:17 says, “...and if children, then heirs-heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together.” That’s a pretty incredible thing to get to experience. We have free will; we have a choice. How will you face your trials today? Will you go with Him and endure these sufferings so that He will be glorified? Or will you live in self-pity and tell Jesus His sacrifice meant nothing?

18. “while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.” Be thankful! In suffering and trials, God is saying to you, “I’m giving you an opportunity again today to glorify me with your actions.” Don’t be concerned with what’s happening to your physical body, rejoice in what God is doing inside of you; the things which you cannot see. You’re growing!

I think I’ll save 2 Corinthians 5:5-10 for tomorrow...or this evening...or a year from now.

I’m going to have to figure out how to get out of Starbucks. A group of women have conveniently just trapped me into a back corner. Oh...another one just joined. Awesome.

Be blessed today and know that you are completely loved by someone far greater than any man on this earth. In fact, He created you with that same love! That’s got to mean something...

I am Second

2009-05-03T18:30:00.000-04:30

check out Brian Welch on iamsecond.com.

I was watching the MAVS game today, which I don't do too often and took note that one of the players on the Colorado team looked absolutely ridiculous. I texted one of my friends who I knew was watching the game, and commented on his appearance and thought...the NBA should really consider having some type of restrictions on the players about their appearance. Apparently, I really was passionate about how he looked...this should concern me. I talked to my friend later about it and he shared with me how this player had been on the radio a few days prior just telling his life story. I asked to hear it. As soon as he started telling me how he grew up, my heart began to break. He had grown up in California and one day his father decided to move the family out to a barn in Texas. His dad promised to build them a home there, but in turn, picked up and left him and his mother alone. My friend commented on how this player had some issues with drugs in the past. My only response was the thought that I had completely judged this guy and didn't have a clue about who he is.

Since this MAC thing is so new to me, and I can't seem to find any excuse better than to be on the computer for 13 hours of my day, I decided to check out iamsecond.com. I had heard that Brain Welch from KORN had a pretty powerful testimony of how God had taken him out of drugs and given him fulfillment in Him alone. Brian states that he remembers going home from church one night after hearing about Jesus, snorts a line, and asks God, "If you're real, then take these drugs away from me because you know I can't do it on my own. You know I want to stop, but I can't do it by myself." He said in that moment, God totally shed His love on him completely and the next day Brian surrendered it all to Him. The drugs were gone. I'm sure the player I judged today gets some of the same looks and judgments that Brian Welch gets on a daily basis because of their appearance. My challenge to you is to look at the heart. What caused them to be where they are now? And what is their need? All it took was for Brian's real estate agent to quote one scripture from Matthew and invite him to church. Although we may feel inadequate, God is all knowing and all powerful. Completely able. Ask God for forgiveness for who you have judged today, and for the grace to serve that same person tomorrow. Words+Deeds

Be wholly His today. I love you.

speechless

2009-05-03T13:18:00.000-04:30

I won't begin this blog by telling you everything about me. I think if you know me, you know where I am right now in my life, and what I've been going through. You all have been an incredible blessing to me during this time. I appreciate all of your prayers and words of encouragement. God has really used them in growing me up each day. Know that your prayers are being heard and His power is working in me.

I thought I might use this page as an outlet, not necessarily about all of my emotions, but using it as a tool to show how God is working. I'm making the assumption that you'll probably see a lot of my emotions. I am still a woman... we're pretty good at expressing them to anyone who will listen, and seeing as your reading this... it looks like you're willing to listen. :)

Our church is planning on spending May 19th as a day to serve others and give what we have to others. Sadly, since I'm not a rockstar like Hannah Montana yet, I'll have to think of another way to bless people.

It's incredible how all I can think of during the day is what I would like to say to everyone I know, and then when I sit down to write... I'm at lost for words. Maybe it's not time yet. But I'm sure when the time does come, I know He'll give me the right words to say.

Thanks for loving me.